Tyler vs The Big Island

Wed Dec 21
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My friend says to me “you’re one of the most accomplished people I know, yet at the same time also one of the laziest”

You forget about plans you made.

You forget birthdays and minor details.

You can never find anything.

You can not sit still

You stare aimlessly at blank paper.

You feel constantly bored, which causes you to engage in high risk, high thrill activities.

You find that starting a project takes so much effort. Finishing them is almost impossible

You can only finish work when it is the last minute.

You try to get stuff done early, but you just can’t.

You try to start so many different hobbies and recklessly spend money on things for said hobbies and end up moving to another one almost instantly

You impulse buy like mad. Run up crazy debt.

You’re always bored!

You blame your soundings for your “Laziness”

You will quit a job on a moments notice and then wonder why you did.

You are constantly wanting to move.

You tell yourself this place is wrong this job is wrong, this is all wrong and I’ll be productive, I’ll be happy, I’ll live up to my potential if I move to somewhere else. Once you get there nothing is different.

You blame yourself for a lack of accomplishment.

You come to discover that you’re friends think you’re ignoring them.

You struggle to keep close friends.

You can’t figure out why you do any of this.

You alienate those close to you

You determine it is because you’re lazy, a bad person, a failure.

You now find it even harder to do anything.

You’re bored, You’re depressed.

You become fearful that you’ll never achieve any of your dreams or goals

You realize you’re in horrible debt and own a bunch of useless crap.

You’d sell some of it, but the idea of going through it is something you just put off.

You try to push yourself but you just can’t figure out how

You feel alone

You can’t figure out how people can so easily be happy

You wonder why people are content with simple lives

You can’t find anyone that understands what you’re going through

You say crazy things that aren’t quite true

You find your self saying that’s not me, this isn’t me, that wasn’t me.

You become super cynical

You freak out and think something is terribly wrong with yourself

Then finally you are told it isn’t your fault. You’re told what is wrong, what you need to do.

You make lists.

You try to remove distraction

You constantly tell yourself that your instinct is wrong, your feelings aren’t right

You push and push and push yourself

You write down appointment dates

You try really hard to keep in contact with friends.

The new people you meet sometimes get freaked out and think you are too intense

You struggle to find that balance between trying to hard and not blowing off

You still struggle with simple tasks and often can’t get things done

You still can’t help but alienate friends.

You tell yourself it isn’t your fault

You could take medication, but it is scary and a part of you says you’re better then that.

You still freakout and say things that you don’t mean that are out of character for whom you are

You still feel alone and can’t find anyone that understands what you’re going through

You just want to feel normal

You want to actually care about things

You still get stressed out and your thought over lap and mix and don’t make sense

You want try really hard to not be a downer

You become jealous that everything is so much harder for you then those around you

You know there are certain moments when you should avoid talking to people

You get lost in day dream

You try not to be impulsive

You still reckless impulse buy

You try not to say awkward shit

You set crazy unobtainable goals

You are still bored

You are hate being alone!

You tell yourself it will all be okay

You try really hard

You always feel fatigue

You wonder what life would be like if you were not an adult suffering from ADHD

My friend says to me “you’re one of the most accomplished people I know, yet at the same time also one of the laziest”

Notes